In my post, “Coping With Hearing Voices,” I mentioned that one of my coping strategies was the use of prescription drugs. In this post I am going to discuss in more detail my use of prescription drugs to treat schizophrenia and some of my thoughts around the use of drugs to treat this supposed disease, briefly discuss the medications I take, and finishing off by noting a couple of the side effects of taking the medication.
As it was explained to me some time after my diagnosis of schizophrenia and the beginning of medical treatment for that disease, in the simplest sense, my condition was brought on by a chemical imbalance in my brain. The use of anti-psychotics then was meant to correct that chemical imbalance. This view takes almost no interest in what has happened to you in life and focuses solely on treating the disease. The prognosis indicated that my affliction would last a lifetime and therefore the use of medication would necessarily last a lifetime as well. Without medication I would be unable to function and further, I could be construed a danger to myself or others. So sayeth the medical model. Halleluiah. Amen.
However, my and some other’s thinking on the matter is somewhat different. It has been and continues to be my continuing contention that my dis-ease is not the result of a disease at the root of which is a chemical imbalance of the brain, but rather the effects of emotional and psychological distress and trauma. This was my assertion in all my numerous stays in psych hospitals during my walk-a-bout and afterwards and in each case that I asserted this view my view was dismissed out of hand as non-sense, much to my consternation and distress. More to the point, while mainstream psychiatry espouses a chemical imbalance there is a smattering of practitioners in and more outside the mainstream that support the view that the symptoms of schizophrenia can be explained from an emotional and psychological basis where medication plays a minor or nonexistent role. This is the view of my current therapist of three years. These practitioners are less interested in the question, “What disease do you have?,” and ask instead, “What happened to you?” It’s a big difference in focus. Trust me. The goal here is to work through the debilitating emotional effects of trauma and distress to achieve emotional healing and thereby affect a ‘cure.’
The obvious question then becomes: Why do I take medication I don’t believe in? The answer is largely habit and, to a lesser extent, lack of courage. When I received the diagnosis of schizophrenia in 2002 when hospitalized yet again against my will, I was employed as a taxi driver. The psychiatrist that gave me the diagnosis had me assessed on an annual basis for two years to check for my compliance to treatment as a condition of my keeping my driver’s license. Compliance to treatment meant taking my medication. I saw it as a strong arm tactic to force me to comply and I resented it; but, I made the practical decision to continue to take the drugs in order to maintain my license and continue working as I did not really see a practical alternative having failed to find other employment. In time taking the medication became habit. Moreover, as time passed I became more stable, though over the years I have still suffered three relapses/episodes while taking the medication. I was unable to discern that improvement as a result of a more stable environment and emotional healing or medication. Thus, as I continued in this habit and my stability improved I became reticent to stop taking the medication. As the case is now, I lack the courage to do what I call, The Great Experiment, and discontinue the drugs on the possibility that I am wrong that I do not need the drugs. If I was wrong the disruption in my life would be significant. I am not willing at this time to risk having that happen.
It might be interesting to some to note what medications I take. Currently I take 5 mg of Olanzapine twice daily. In addition I take Risperidone 1 mg in the morning and 2 mgs in the evening. I have been told by at least one doctor that this is an odd combination. I have been on it for about three years. Prior to that I was on Serraquell for about six weeks, but the medication ‘did not work’ resulting in an episode that led to a hospitalization, according to a doctor. Prior to that and beginning in 2002 I was on Risperidone solely. Prior to that it was not the practice of the eight or so psychiatrists that managed my care at one time or another to bother explaining to me the medication they were giving me, much to my consternation, distress, and resentment. I’ve said it before but let me say it here again in no uncertain terms: I see psychiatrists as a threat. In the vast majority of cases they are drug pushing quacks with too much power espousing a doctrine that is based on soft science. They are the poster-boys for all that is wrong in a mental health system that is largely inadequate to the task of healing the afflicted. They visit indignities on those they treat… but I digress.
I would like to finish off by sharing two of the main side effects I have experienced from being on Risperidone for 12 years. The most noticeable side effect is the excessive weight gain. When I was first given the drug the doctor said,” Now, you are going to put on a little weight.”
I laughed. “Doc,” I said, “I have been 125 pounds for 25 years. I’ll be fine.”
“You are going to put on a little weight,” he said again flatly.
I said, “Doc. I have taken weight gaining formula. I eat anything that doesn’t move fast enough. I can’t put on weight for trying. I’ll be just dandy.”
“You are going to gain some weight,” he said for the last time.
I topped the scales at 210 pounds three years ago. There is a lot of me to love.
The other side effect is muscle tensing. When I was driving a cab my left leg used to tense uncontrollably for hours at a time causing cramping and an intense ache. This still happens on occasion when I am driving although I no longer drive a car for hire. The other thing is my jaw will tense at an odd angle along with my lips and my tongue. This happens uncontrollably as much as I try to relax my face. It is a royal pain but I have no other choice for the moment than to tolerate it.
And with that folks I am finished. I want to thank you for reading along. If you have any questions or comments please feel free to register and leave them for me.
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